2x41 - "Kicking a Ball and Pretending to Be Hurt"
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~
Titans, as you all know, today is...
Sports Day!
- I did not know that. - I didn't know either, brah.
You guys know it's Sports Day, right?
- No. - Whatcha talkin' about?
I see. Allow me to bring you all up to speed.
Today is Sports Day!
Sports Day!
Why do I even bother printing up flyers?
Today, we will be playing the world's most popular sport...
futból.
Football? I love football!
- I didn't say we're playing "football." - Uh, pretty sure you did, bro.
Uh, no, bro, I said we're playing "futból."
Football? I love football!
And he's going to the 50... And he's going to the 40...
- No, we are not playing football! - Uh, I'm so confused, bro.
We are playing futból. Also known as soccer.
- Boooo! - Ugh.
Don't nobody care about soccer!
It is the most tedious of athletic events.
It's just people kicking a ball and then pretending to be hurt.
I don't like "sock-her" either. I prefer "sock-him!"
Ow!
- You get it? - Ha! I do get it. That's good.
Around the world, futból ignites the passions of the soul.
It can bring a nation together or tear it apart.
Most importantly, it is a metaphor for the miracle of life.
Are we still talking about soccer?
Stop calling it soccer! It's futból!
You know, I've always thought there was something sinister
about the sport. How can people get so worked up over a ball?
It does seem unlikely a dull game
could inspire such intense emotions, Robin.
What about that time when Cyborg played duck, duck, goose?
The duck, the duck...
the goose.
I am the goose!
The goose!
I'm coming for ya!
No one escapes the goose!
Futból is a beautiful game.
Now, say it, and let it live in your hearts.
Futból.
- Football? - No, "futból."
- Futból. - With passion!
- Futból! - That's starting to sound international.
- Sock-him. - Ow!
I'm hilarious.
Great energy! Now let's take the field!
We look like the athletics professionals.
Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. I gots me some shin pads, yo.
- Kick me as hard as you can. - Seems like a bad idea.
Come on, I won't feel a thing.
- It's shin armor, brah. - Okay.
Ow, my shin!
You broke my shin!
I too wish to test the shin armor.
They're not guarding anything! Not a thing!
Oh, you guys playing sock-him, too? Cool.
All right, enough horseplay, guys. Let's get to the basics.
Because no one plays soccer in our country, I've had
this ball shipped to us from halfway around the world.
Ooh.
What a good-looking ball!
Ooh, a collection of pentagons and hexagons forming a sphere.
- It's made out of science, yo! - Stylish.
It is true. The futból is the most stylish
piece of equipment in all of sports.
Now, this is an easy game to learn.
You just have to put the ball in the goal.
No problem!
Swish! Two points.
No points.
- You can't use your hands. - What?
Things just got super weird!
But how does one manipulate the ball without using the hands?
Futból.
Oh, dudes, we use our foots.
- But I don't have feet. - Yes, you do.
Oh, yeah, I forgot about those.
Now, pay attention as I demonstrate a proper futból kick.
Hi-ja!
There, I've scored a goal in the appropriate futból style.
Now let's celebrate by saying "goal" as long as possible.
- Goal. - What is this, baseball?
- The gooo... - Unacceptable.
Goooooal!
Not long enough.
Goooooooal!
That's what I'm talking about!
Now, let's fut this bol!
Ow!
Why?
How could you do me like that?
Coach, I can't go on.
Wow! Futból isn't boring at all.
In fact, I feel like I'm standing on
the precipice of greatness!
I am a pillar of light in a world of darkness!
We're taking our first steps into a new life, bro!
The futból life!
Why are we feeling such intense of the emotions?
- These feelings, they don't make sense. - Of course they do.
This beautiful, ha, magical ball, ooh,
was the key to unlocking our passions.
Still, something about this feels unnatural...
but I can't argue with my feelings!
Goal...
- Hey, Rave, could you pass the milk? - Sure thing.
Ha!
Goal!
- Excuse me, bro. - Whoa!
The pain!
A red card? You've got to be kidding me!
I barely touched him.
I don't wanna hear it. You're out of here!
Unbelievable! You need to get your eyes checked!
I never want to stop the running!
I feel so invigorated.
We've never lived our lives with such emotion.
That's right. We've all been invigorated
by this magical, little futból.
What?
- Your hands! - You're using your hands, bro!
Whoa. What happened?
Were we liking the soccer?
What is that?
Hello!
- Who are you? - I'm a soccer troll!
My people are magical beings
that evoke intense passion for the game of soccer.
So, you guys use magic to make people like soccer?
Our King Goal, Ruler of Soccer, commands it.
- So, soccer really is boring. - Of course.
Watching people kick a ball and pretend to be hurt
- is the most boring thing in the world. - Yeah, that's what I said.
King Goal knew the only way to create interest
in his dull sport was to use magic.
No wonder the game stirs such proud but unearned emotions.
What a monstrous sport!
It's time people see soccer for what it really is.
Soccer troll. Take us to your leader.
Well done, Titans.
You've uncovered my centuries-old plot to make soccer interesting.
Give it up, Goal. No more magic-ing people into liking soccer.
I must or the sport would never survive.
It's just people kicking a ball and pretending to be hurt.
- Who would watch that? - One way or another,
we're going to settle this.
Then how about on the field?
One goal.
Sudden death.
And if we win, you call back all the soccer trolls.
- And if we lose? - Sudden death.
I said "sudden death," didn't I?
Thought I said "sudden death."
Sudden death!
Goal!
He is really good.
You lose, Titans. Time to die.
You're forgetting one thing, Goal.
The Titans are sore losers!
Yaaaah!
In the face!
Larry!
Okay! Okay! Okay! You win.
I'll call back my soccer trolls.
Ow! Ho-ho-ho-ho!
I said, "you win." Why?
- So boring. Ugh. - Hey, who wants to go bowling?
Yeah, bowling, I can do that.
Yeah, bowling!
Who are you?
I'm a magical bowling turkey.
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~